Moving On From Infinite Ammo and Getting To The Next Stage

Infinite Ammo is gone.

I won’t go into the who’s and why’s here, but it has been one hell of a year working at Infinite. Getting to know the basics of online media journalism, getting to know myself better as a writer, and getting to work with other writers on a collaboration were all pretty challenging. With limited resources, and often a limited amount of writers, we set out to provide damn good editorials and reviews for at least a year. In the end we did just that. But it’s still sad to see it go.

There were a lot of ups and downs. Louis Santiago and I had plenty of times where our passions led us to frustrations. Like any large ambition being driven by multiple visions, it’s bound to happen: especially with something like Infinite Ammo that required so much attention and care. But after much trial and error we came to understand each other, our motivations, and our goals: it made us grow substantially as writers, as editors, as people. I really have to say I’m glad we went through it.

Even after we built up a synergy, there was a lot of pressure. Trying to provide great quality content while living our own busy lives was incredibly tough. I personally had taken up a full-time job working 50 hrs a week, and at times it became a struggle for me to do balance late night writing and editing and 10 or more hour high-stress workdays. A lot of mental fatigue. But at the end of the day I felt it revealed two things about me, as both a writer and as a person:

The first was that it made me have to evolve and adapt to find new ways to tackles these obstacles (even when it felt I was carrying the world on my shoulders). But secondly–and most importantly–it proved to me that I was really serious about being a writer. If there was ever a time when I could have said “screw this, I’m done, I just want to relax,” it would have been several times this last year, through some of our hardest and most taxing times. Yet, here I am, riding Infinite Ammo to it’s end and looking towards my future for more writing opportunities.

Getting Back on Track

I turned 25 a little over a month ago. Since high school, I’ve done next to nothing professionally that involves what I really love to do. And the most important thing I’ve learned about myself is that I love to create. I love to plan things out, create foundations and structures, to generate ideas and options and alternatives and tons of content. Besides going to college and earning my English degree (which really, really changed my way of thinking regarding ideas, themes, etc) I’ve been in a creative deadzone. Working monotonous fulltime jobs and being a fulltime student kills your social life and freetime: my friends can tell you that. I was basically a hermit during some of those times. Now I’m getting paid better, but I have limited free time. And for me, it’s not just about being paid well, but being paid to do what I’m passionate about. To write. To draw. To plan. To animate. To film. To design. I have millions of ideas for several kinds of media, but no idea how to get any of it going. So now it’s time for me to get on track, get back to creating, and get back to making my ambitions come true.

In elementary school I did art and writing. In high school I did film, art, digital art, and started a touch of flash animation and web design. In college I did a lot of writing and a little film. After working on Infinite Ammo for a year, and reviewing the things I really love (Comics, Video Games, Film, TV, and Literature) with such an intensity, I’ve thought about going back to school and earn a degree in Media Arts/Interactive Media Arts, or start teaching myself what I can with my free time while trying to collaborate with other creators and artists.

You may even get to meet “Sharkelton the Whale”. Don’t judge me, I promise I have much better stuff than this. But c’mon. You love ‘im.

I’m not quite sure which approach I’ll take and which is better: one requires a lot of money but more resources, one requires me to stretch my time and make what I can of what I have. But either way, I’m going to start working on simple projects of mine to get started, and hopefully with any success try to move to my grander, more time-consuming ideas.

Thankfully there are also a lot of ways to get moving: sites like Kickstarter that can fund a project that wouldn’t last 2 seconds in such an overcrowded market; dozens of sites for finding creative teams; free software with a professional edge that makes it easier for guys like me to get our projects off the ground. Ultimately there’s no excuse for me not to try, before I’m an old man talking about “What If’s” or “Could Have Been’s”. There’s far too many people who have come out of worse situations and still have come out on top. I need to get more ambitious and at least try. Or else, what’s the purpose of life? If everyone played it safe, then our species would still be an amoeba hanging in the middle of some primordial pond somewhere.

I’ll be using this blog for two things: one being a collection of my thoughts (be they reviews, editorials, or mindfarts) to keep my mind and fingers active. You may have even seen a ton of content added recently, all of which originally appeared on Infinite Ammo (and I’d love to take a moment and give Louis Santiago his due credit–and my unending gratitude–for the feature images he created or helped me create for a lot of these posts). The second is too have updates of my progress, along with concept work for things I’m hoping to get published soon. Expect a lot of this soon.

There’s a lot for me to do, and I can’t help but feel excited for the potential there is in my ambitions. Hopefully you’ll soon see these projects come to fruition. If there’s anything I can’t wait for, it’s getting to the next stage in my life, and bringing the voices and worlds inside my head out for all of you to see.

Now let me get back to work and give you guys something to cheer for!

Always Sincerely and Truly Yours,

Chaos Mechanica

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